Tuesday, 11 September 2007

As The Dust Settles

Desert sand coats everything here.
If you let anything sit long enough, either inside or out, it collects a flim of girtty flith.
Even now as I write, I sit atop a dust caked chair on a belcony overlooking the suburb of Maadi.

I have been here in Egypt two weeks now...
I have since left jet-leg in the wake of a fast paced life style, full of language classes, meetings, tasks and homework.
However, despite the lack consitant intermissions, Egypt has begun to feel like home to me and when the opportunity to surface and rest presents itself, I have found myself in the sweet embrace of the couch and a pizza box.

God has been both the forefront and distant longing in my heart over the last couple months.

Since arriving home from Africa in July, I retreated from myself.
I told the story of my travels but never really processed it, and I went from a "Spiritual high" into a cement wall.
I still was around God but never came before Him, never really focused on Him...
Dust settled.

The thing about dust is, unless it's on a hard, flat surface, it doesn't come out easily.
It collects in groves and poors and it piles up...

God didn't make us hard, nor did He make us flat.
It says that God shaped us and He continues to mold us.

We are incrediably detailed, carefully constructed beings and it's because we are so detailed, that it's so difficult to get all the dust out when it gathers.

My prayer life began to suffer, my want for more for decreased and God felt distant.

I know He never was, nor will He ever be, but I felt cut off, choaked in dust.
I was too embarrassed and too stubborn to ask for help.

And so I was off to Egypt...on a plane this first time more alone then ever.

I continued to struggle,
At prayer meetings I felt as though I was talking to God through a wall,
Alone I found it hard to come before God, I felt ashamed.

God is Good...All the time.

It was at church this weekend that some of the dust came off,

The amazing thing is we don't have to let dust settle, God doesn't want us to let it settle because when it does, it masks how beautiful we are and makes it impossible to continue to grow.

All the time...God is Good

Grace, Peace and Blessings,
Brent

2 comments:

Brock said...

amazing my man.

Lee said...

Thanks for your honesty Brent. You're right God is always good! blessings.